Sixteen: Overcoming Worry

Overcoming Worry

By Anne Starnes Kingsbury  

          Human beings are the only creatures that worry.  We think that the ability to brood until our concerns become a desperate litany of fearsome threats is an enhancement of our self-defense systems.  So wrong!

          Many anxious people use worry as a protective talisman.  They believe that forecasting all dire possibilities is preventive.  If this were true, imagine the power we would have.  Far better to cross your fingers and avoid the mental fatigue of having to be aware of every menace, real or imagined.

          Excessive worry does not make you a better thinker.  It will not prepare you for the worst, nor help you to attain the best outcome.   The reality is, worry uses up mental resources.  Therefore, our problem-solving powers are weakened.  Worry is excessive emotional thinking instead of logical processing.

          Remaining in a state of hypervigilance, expecting the worst possibilities at any given moment to occur, allows negative thoughts to dominate our reality.  We are developing a bad attitude about living.  Continuous, long-term worry can become a period of depression.   

          A good approach to controlling the urge to drive ourselves to exhaustion with worrying is to follow these five steps:

1.     Challenge negative thoughts.  What is the immediate threat?   Do not exaggerate, catastrophize, or distort the situation before you.  Stay real to the facts.

2.     Let go of the fruitless need to worry.  Worry is a distraction.  It slows you down.  Do not believe that bad things will happen if you dispense with it.

3.     Be honest about what’s good.   This practice will strengthen you as you analyze the problem.  You must identify what is not going wrong, and be aware of positives. 

4.     Think creatively about solutions.  Don’t give up too quickly.  Make lists.  Sleep on it.  Do some research.  Talk it out.

5.     Take action, however small.  A powerful way to lessen anxiety is to do something.  Get informed about the situation.  Make a plan.  Calm yourself with a crossword puzzle, or by holding someone’s hand.  Do ten jumping jacks. 

Worry is an attempt to process fear.  But it is the wrong tactic.  We are wasting time.  The issues that concern us need to be dealt with, and at the same time we need to focus on positive parts of life too.  You deserve to think about pleasant events, interesting ideas, things that you want to do, and cultivate relationships with people who belong in your life. 

Stress is a normal part of living.  When stress becomes overwhelming, creating anxiety, information and support restore balance. Call 631-805-4529 to discuss a meeting to develop an individualized stress management plan that includes research for life issues and concerns.

Anne Starnes Kingsbury, MA, MS is a Stress Management Coach.  Look on facebook for “Effective Stress Management,” contact her on effectivestressmanagement@yahoo.com, and read her blog, http:/successoverstress.blogspot.com for practical ways to control stress and anxiety.

(This is the fourth article published in etweek, June 29, 2012.)